Film Independent Spirit Awards fashion

holy shit.

Hi, I’m Rosario Dawson and I AM TOTAL PERFECTION.

Dress: Gorgeous, yet playful. Perfectly appropriate for this event.
Shoes: Sexy and understated.
Skin tone: Lickable.
Hair: MAJOR UPGRADE from the hideous bangs that have been marring her beauty as of late.
Pose: Hitting the nail on the head of adorable and sexy at the same time. This is incredibly hard to achieve.

Josh Hartnett. OK. He looks good. I like the tie enough to excuse his facial hair. But he’s trying too hard to look like Johnny Depp, and he shouldn’t. He’s hot enough to just be him. Calm it down, Hartnett. You’ll be fine.

Memo to Zach Braff: YOU LOOK LIKE A BEAVER FROM THE I.T. DEPARTMENT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

Maggie fucking nailed it. Apparently I’m really into buttons on dresses today.

Rachel Bilson frequently dresses perfectly. She also frequently makes me feel like I want to cuddle with her while she’s wearing just a tank top and cotton panties. While we’re cuddling, my hand finds its way to her perfect butt and just rests there. Anyway, back to her outfit. As a brunette, I find it hard to pull off white clothes. She looks amazing here. I love the gold necklace – it balances the white dress that is topped and bottomed (HA!) by her black hair and black shoes.

He’s got to be joking.

So close. SO. CLOSE. Ben Harper manages to ruin it by not running to a tailor to hem his jeans. He could have at least duct taped them on the inside, that’s what I do. All Laura Dern had to do was take off her idiotic jeans and she would look incredible. Everything else is working – the flippy hair, the color of the dress. COME ON.

Now begins the sad haircut segment.

MICHELLE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO. PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME BECAUSE I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY PANICKED SHRIKEING. I can’t even pay attention to anything else in this photo, even though I’m sure the chunks of mirror on her dress are an attempt to distract from the crisis that is her haircut.

There are so many things wrong with this.

1) Who invited Neve Campbell? Party of Five was 15 years ago, dude.
2.) Hair. Obviously.
3.) Who goes to an event like this, especially someone who has no reason to be there, and doesn’t iron their dress beforehand?
4.) LEGGINGS A;LSKDJFAS.
5.) Clashing metals – she’s got the bronze dress and eyeshadow, gold necklace, silver on her shoes and bag.

Oscars fashion: Here we come.

(Photos from Getty Images (obvs) via Oh No They Didn’t!)

moonshine

in honor of my obsession with L7’s “moonshine,” that i just wrote about, i will now discuss the beverage of same name.

a couple of weeks ago, cella and i went to a going away party for a golden-haired angel known as matt. upon arriving, he handed me a mason jar of his aunt’s moonshine, brewed at her home in north carolina. it had 3 plums in the bottom. it was DELICIOUS. here’s me drinking it. it was from january 2006, a fine vintage.

today cella wrote a very touching goodbye to matt, who is off to africa with the peace corps. while the words were moving, nothing is as incredible as the video tribute she made to him. i encourage you to settle down with a mason jar full of moonshine and a box of tissues and be moved as you watch it. here you go:

temping is tedious.

today i am tired and feeling the beginnings of sickness. the most exciting part of my work day is that i brought a new kind of yogurt that i’m going to try in a few hours.

 so, here are my favorite songs right now:

“tacobel canon” – ratatat
“gettysburg” – ratatat
“nude as the news” – cat power
“moonshine” – L7
“yankee go home” – clap your hands say yeah
“everyday” – buddy holly
“hey porter” – johnny cash
the entire mix cella made me, entitled “hide this from lucas, he will burn it!” and featuring songs such as mika – “lollipop” and gwen stefani – “sweet escape”
and
my kylie minogue remixes ep that lucas got for me at amoeba 6 months ago. it’s UNREAL. and mostly her first few songs. this goes in hand quite nicely with my “kylie videos 1987 – 1992″ dvd.

it would do you some good to get all of these songs by any means necessary.

a perfect day, elise

happiness = sunshine, mexican food, newspaper, flewcas.

a typical night in new york, hence why i left.

last night after i picked lucas up at the airport, we ordered chinese food and settled down to some jackass dvd’s. i haven’t watched the actual show in awhile, and it still makes me pee myself laughing. this made me think of my sordid history with johnny knoxville.

by “sordid history,” i mean i was walking out of the mac store in soho a few years ago as he was walking by, so i followed him. he was on the phone and i just walked behind him for about 6 blocks. he stopped on a corner so i crossed the street and pretended to be on my phone while i observed. then i realized, “wait a second. i don’t care.” so i walked home.

the next night, however, i went to a party and he showed up with kate moss. they were “seeing each other” at the time – apparently old juanny decided he and his wife would have an open relationship, though i don’t know if his wife knew that. she’s since become aware and filed for separation. i went to the party to see courtney love, who i was promised would be there.

anyway, juanny was wearing a hideous budweiser shirt:

and kate moss was wearing not much of anything:

i got bored and went outside just as albert and catherine were coming in, and catherine’s friend was freaking out because she accidentally locked her phone. i helped her unlock it and she frenched me with no warning. then i left. courtney never showed up, anyway.

fyi, if you google image search “jackass,” this is what you get:

i think we can all agree that the above fella is faring MUCH better these days than his crazy ex-wife.

these layouts are all hideous

the layouts for wordpress are BALLS. there’s one with a banana smoothie. what the fuck? is this commonly used?

this dog lives 2 doors down from me. i usually see his owners walking him around the neighborhood, but a few weeks ago he was chilling in their front yard. this dog is fucking huge. i’m 5 feet tall. as you can see from the photo, this fucker is about 4′5″ at LEAST. he’s also one of the sweetest little shmoos in the world. he’s very hesitant and pensive. i love him.

i’ve also recently realized that i smile at dogs. smiling at their owners might garner a return smile, but i can’t stop smiling at dogs. maybe it’s because they’re usually closer in height to me than their owners.